Humility & Conflict

‍“A defensive posture stops communication. Remaining unwilling to examine my motives or how I may have contributed to the problem (knowingly or unknowingly) prevents emotional and spiritual growth in my life.” ‍

Humility is not always a word we associate with bravery or strength or progress. In fact, we might even associate humility with weakness, passivity, or timidity. 

But God says otherwise. Humility is an essential to the Christian life. 

Let’s take a look at a few Bible passages describing humility. 

James 4:6-10: “But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’ Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.”

What do we notice here? First, we must approach God in a humble manner, and when we do, we receive God’s blessing of grace. We cannot submit to God when pride rules in our hearts. In fact, humility is necessary—and provides us with the power—to resist the devil. Humility is foundational to seeing the truth of who we are and who God is. 

Philippians 2:3-8: “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.”

Here, Paul contrasts the attitude of humility with its counterparts: selfish ambition and conceit. We demonstrate humility in how we treat others by rightly ordering our affections—placing their interests and wellbeing above our own. Paul highlights the wonderful example we have in Christ—how He served us by taking to Himself a body and a soul and purchasing our freedom on the cross. This is the purest form of humility we will ever know. And Christ’s humility was necessary for His obedience to the Father and our consequent salvation. 

Deuteronomy 8:2-3: “And you shall remember the whole way that the LORD your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not. And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that he might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD.”

Recalling, remembering, and meditating are all foundational aspects of biblical humility. When we remember who God is and what He has done, we see ourselves and our circumstances rightfully. When we fail to remember the truth and, instead, surround ourselves with what we want to hear, we have traded the Words of Life for bread that does not last. Humility also involves a concern for doing what is right—keeping God’s commands—and valuing His Words above all else. 

—

Ready to grow deeper? Click here to explore my ALL NEW course on navigating conflict God’s way. My prayer is that you continue to be uplifted and empowered to approach every conflict with a spirit of grace and humility, trusting in God’s wisdom and strength.

In His grace,
-Richard Parrish