How To Love Philadelphians

“Let brotherly love continue.” – Hebrews 13:1 (ESV). Or as Paul writes, “Love one another with brotherly affection.” – Romans 12:10 (ESV).

Have you ever visited Philadelphia?

My first visit to the “City of Brotherly Love” felt more like the city of “brotherly shove.”

Caught in the five o’clock rush, I quickly realized that I might get run over if I didn’t pick a lane fast enough! The Philadelphians’ actions revealed more impatience and aggressiveness than patience and gentleness—which didn’t exactly scream “brotherly love.”

Of course, not all Philadelphians are pushy!

This behavior exists everywhere—not just in Philadelphia. I’ve observed “Philadelphian behavior” here in Phoenix. We all struggle to extend brotherly love. Our priorities and ambitions often prevent us from seeing the needs of others.

The author of Hebrews stresses the urgency of brotherly love: “Let brotherly love continue.” The word Philadelphia (φιλαδελφία) means “brotherly love”—a warm, affectionate love between close friends or siblings. It’s built on mutual respect, shared connection, and sincere support. This kind of love thrives on closeness and loyalty.

 This “brotherly love” is not gender-specific—it’s for each of us. Some translations treat the word “brotherly” as “mutual love for one another” (NRSV) or “brothers and sisters” (NLT, NIV).

Although every human is created in the image of God, our actions do not always reflect God’s image. While I may be inclined to view my “Philadelphian” brothers and sisters (no matter where they live) as pushy, rude, arrogant, unkind, impatient, or intolerant, I must be careful first to examine my own life because I do not always reflect “authentic” love.

Paul writes: “Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil [and] hold fast to what is good.” – Romans 12:9 [Emphasis mine].

Here, we see the word “love” again. However, this is a different kind of love. The word Paul uses here is ἀγάπη,or agape. Agape love is different. It’s selfless, unconditional, and sacrificial—a love based on choice and commitment, not just feelings. It’s the highest form of love, modeled perfectly by God’s love for us, shown through Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross.

To love others with the highest form of love requires our sincere desire for the well-being of others above our own. It is the kind of love freely offered without expecting anything in return.

Paul appeals to us to:

“Love one another with brotherly affection” – Romans 12:10.

So how do we love those “pushy Philadelphians”—whether they live in Philadelphia or not?

When people are impatient, arrogant, or demanding, brotherly love alone often isn’t enough. That’s why we need agape love—a love that chooses patience, kindness, and selflessness even when it’s hard.

If we want to love our “Philadelphian brothers and sisters”—the impatient, demanding, and difficult—we need more than good intentions. We need agape love! The kind of love God shows us. We can only extend brotherly love to others by receiving and embracing God’s sacrificial love for us.

And when we do, we become more patient—even at rush hour!