Dependability & Conflict

“Staying ‘in the room’ and learning how to verbalize our thoughts (rather than running to a “dry well”) encourages conversation.” 

Trust is so important. The ability to depend on something or someone is foundational to our lives, our sanity, and overall well being. So many aspects of our lives are built upon the reliability and steadiness of things—everything from a simple morning routine to an annual family get together. 

As Christians, the Bible talks a lot about time and routines. It constantly provides us with principles for how we can best use our days, weeks, and years for God’s glory. There are things we are instructed to do often, like daily worship, prayer, and praise. We are exhorted to seek the Lord often; to meditate frequently; to always think of others better than ourselves. When we put all of these pieces together, we start to grasp a picture of the Christian life—the way God desires us to live and how He behaves towards His people. A large part of our Christian walk is about faithfulness, steadiness—doing the same thing over and over again. This is how the Kingdom of God grows, how it is fortified against the powers of darkness: little by little, bit by bit. Dependability. 

When we come to conflict, this concept is just as essential. I take a deep dive into this in my book, The Gift of Conflict: The Art of Biblical Reconciliation, and its accompanying course. But in the meantime, here are a few takeaways we can all keep in mind, especially when we are dealing with difficult situations. Here’s how we can be dependable—how we can “stay in the room”—in the midst of conflict: 

1. Staying in the room means mentally committing to loving your neighbor. This entails continually viewing others as better than ourselves while holding fast to the truth. 
2. Staying in the room means committing to actual communication. When we face uncomfortable conversations, it’s very easy to only voice our own views and disregard everything else. As Christians, we must learn to express ourselves clearly, clarify statements, and refrain from hurtful remarks or logical fallacies that will only do further harm. 
3. Staying in the room means committing to confronting conflict and maintaining humility. We can’t be afraid of addressing conflict head on. The Bible instructs us to deal with issues humbly, thoughtfully, and in a timely manner. Matthew 5:23-24 says, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” 

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Ready for more? Click here to enroll in my FREE Gospel Course. My hope and prayer is that you will continue to be encouraged as you rejoice daily in our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and seek to navigate conflict in a godly way. 

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Blessings, 

-Richard Parrish