Gift of Conflict

“Staying ‘in the room’ and learning how to verbalize our thoughts (rather than running to a “dry well”) encourages conversation.”  Trust is so important. The ability to depend on something or someone is foundational to our lives, our sanity, and overall well being. So many aspects of our lives are built upon the reliability and…

Water. Food. Sleep. Shelter.  We all have basic needs. We all have basic desires.  From the moment we’re born, we need things. We desire things.  The story is as old as time (literally). The first man, Adam, needed—desired—a helper. And in their perfect state, both Adam and Eve needed and desired fellowship with God.  Later,…

Where does conflict come from?  James, the brother of Jesus, asserts that all human disputes begin with base desires and jealousies. “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot…

We aren’t very old when we realize that something is very wrong with the world.  We begin to experience outward pain.  We begin to see relationships fraught with struggle. We begin to understand that every area of life—every piece of our glorious world—is permeated, in one way or another, with conflict.  When our desires are…

Conflict is a gift. But discovering this gift requires an intentional desire for an intimate connection with Christ.  Many are familiar with pressures that feel as if they will crush us: Secularism, non-stop demands of others, how to reflect Christ in a non-Christian world, staff and board disputes, unrealistic expectations, how to balance a healthy…

Unresolved conflict can bring out the worst in us. You’ve tried to resolve issues but appear to be at a stalemate. What do you do? One unhealthy maneuver is to find ways to attack your opponent’s character. “If I can’t get her to budge, I will do what I can to damage her reputation or credibility!” You…

Recognizing conflict appears to be reasonably straightforward. But is it? When two individuals have a heated argument over some disagreement, it’s usually a sign of conflict in the room. Referees officiating a basketball game call fouls based on their point of view (from what they observe). But what they see is not always what the…