When Our Desires Conflict With God’s Commands

“Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord and He will exalt you.” – James 4:7-10 (ESV)

I know God means well, but seriously, His commands frequently interfere with my desires! More than once I have thought, “If only I could convince God that my situation calls for a different action than His preferred way, life would be much easier!!” 

I doubt that I’m alone in this struggle. 

Often, we find ourselves conflicted between the Lord’s commands and our desires. Surrendering to God’s purpose requires the relinquishment of our cravings to embrace God’s longings—and we’re not always willing to do that. 

Complete surrender requires more than an outward confession. “I only want to do what God wants,” can sound lovely and pious, right? We expect that declaration from one who claims to love God. In fact, we would be astonished to hear a disciple of the Lord say, “I think God’s commands were appropriate ‘back then,’ but apparently, He is unfamiliar with our culture today. If He only understood our times, He would amend his commands.”

Reciting a “correct” mantra isn’t difficult. But yielding your inclinations, preferences, and desires requires you to go beyond nice-sounding words. It demands the ultimate sacrifice of those passions that often contradict God’s commands. 

Contrary to our desires, thoughts, or preferences, God’s commands are fixed. They cannot be amended because they are constant, irreversible and eternal. The psalmist reminds us:

“The sum of your word is truth, and every one of your righteous rules endures forever.”

 – Psalm 119:160 (ESV)

Despite this certainty, I and others have unsuccessfully attempted to persuade God to modify or revoke His commandments. But every appeal to amend, revise, or overturn God’s requirements has been lost. His commands remain steadfast. 

In view of this reality (that our attempts to alter God’s purpose are useless), James directs our attention to the source of our conflict and offers us a constructive process to help us accept and honor God’s commands. First, he reminds us:

 “You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.”

 – James 4:3 (ESV)

Unless our “passions” (the things we pursue and take pleasure in that fulfill our desires) are wholly surrendered to God’s purpose, we quickly become “a friend of the world and an enemy of God” (4:4). It is my misaligned passions that encourage my resistance to God, NOT God’s unwillingness to conform His commands to my desires. 

Next, James offers a series of commands that reflect a humble heart. Proverbs 3:34 reminds us that, “Towards the scorers He [God] is scornful, but to the humble He [God] gives favor” [Emphasis mine]. Because God gives grace to the humble, it is essential that we pursue humbleness. James calls for humility: “Submit yourselves to God / humble yourselves before the Lord” (vs. 7a, 10). 

Douglas J. Moo writes: “Between these two ‘bookends’ we find a carefully structured series of commands that spell out some of the aspects and implications of the overall call to ‘submit to God’.”

To embrace humility requires our participation to resist the devil, not God (vs. 7b), draw near to God, cleanse our hands, purify our hearts, become “single-minded,” (vs. 8), and grieve (“Be wretched and mourn and weep,” vs. 9).

We do not do these steps once; check the box, and say, “I’ve done that!” They are daily disciplines—practices—to guard us against pride, arrogance, and misaligned passions that drive us to amend God’s commandments to serve our wants. They are practices that encourage a humble heart wholly surrendered to God’s ways.

Reflection Questions

Can you recall a recent situation where you experienced a conflict between your desires and God’s commands? 

• How did this conflict make you feel, and what steps did you take (or could you take) to submit to God’s will instead?

Consider moments when you have felt pride or resistance to God’s direction. 

• How can you actively cultivate a humble heart to align your passions with God’s purposes?

What specific spiritual disciplines (e.g., prayer, meditation, scripture study, accountability with others) can you implement to help you draw near to God and strengthen your resolve to follow His commands?

1 Douglas J. Moo, The Letter of James, The Pillar New Testament Commentary (Grand Rapids, MI; Leicester, England: Eerdmans; Apollos, 2000), 192.