The Origin of Conflict

Where does conflict come from? 

James, the brother of Jesus, asserts that all human disputes begin with base desires and jealousies.

“What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions” (James 4:1–3, ESV).

The passions of which James speaks are: “The many forces which belong to the world of unsanctified carnality, which strive against the work of God and His Spirit, and which drag [us] back again into the kingdom of evil.” It’s the Greek word (ἡδονή), which we derive as “hedonistic.” A “hedonist” believes that the pursuit of pleasure is the most essential thing in life.

Throughout Scripture (Old and New Testaments), we are reminded to guard our love for the LORD. “Be very careful, therefore, to love the Lord your God” (Joshua 23:11); “You shall therefore love the Lord your God and keep his charge, his statutes, his rules, and his commandments always” (Deuteronomy 11:1). Jesus confirms and amplifies what the Old Testament prophets stressed. “And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength” (Mark 12:30.) Unless our “passions” are God-focused, we always risk quarrels and fights. It’s not “if” we will disagree; it’s when we will differ.

When our desires fail to become a reality, James says we “murder.” More than likely (and hopefully), you have not gone as far as murdering the person you disagree with. James emphasizes the lengths to which our unbridled desires can lead. Make no mistake: unrestrained passions (human desires) can produce terrible behavior. A quick look at history reveals the violence and destruction that unfulfilled desires can bring. We need a way to deal with our desires and disagreements that can lead to unity rather than division.

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This is an excerpt from my recently-published book, The Gift of Conflict: The Art of Biblical Reconciliation. You can register here to receive updates about the launch of this book and its accompanying curriculum!

I pray that this book helps you see conflict as a gift to help us learn, develop and grow, as well as understanding how to practically think through conflict and come to peace.

-Richard Parrish

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Gustav Stählin, “Ἡδονή, Φιλήδονος,” in Theological Dictionary of the New Testament, ed. Gerhard Kittel, Geoffrey W. Bromiley, and Gerhard Friedrich (Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans, 1964–), 909